No, seriously… each one wants you to pay the fee per artwork with no garantie that your artwork will be exhibited. Then they get shit tone of requests (which is reasonable because their newsletter is international) and of course there is not enough space for all 100500 paintings that people applied!
I’m sorry for fussing but it drives me nuts because each year i set myself a small budget to participate in the group shows and because of those Mall Galleries and Royal Art Society or else I’m loosing money and not getting anything for it. Example - I paid £25/per artwork and didn’t get selected - that’s okay… but when I paid £80 to apply 2 artworks into the Royal Academy of Artis for a Summer Exhibition and got nothing back - that was annoying. This year i only entered one because I knew that i shouldn’t spend more than I have whether previously I’d spend credit money on that (thanks God i got smarter ahha).
I don’t know anymore how to event get out there as students of Art universities always are shortlisted to exhibit but the artworks are very simple with no concept behind or something basic, i walked around the art streets of London and saw those galleries where a person can’t even answer the question on who the artist is and yet it’s sold but you don’t know for how much… arrrrrr.
I’ve been grinding so long in this space that I’m ready to give up to be honest. I love making art and doing exhibitions but when the world is set the way that it shuts all the doors and you can’t even get out into public so that your artworks could be seen in real life it’s quite hard to keep going and pay for things that are not worth anything. What the fuck is wrong with this world, honestly… anyway, you get the idea, I didn’t get to the group show at Mall Galleries this year, better luck somewhere else I guess..
Change
This is my first blog ever. I used to think that those are pointless to do but turned out they attract traffic…as you might have guessed, this is one of the reasons I’m writing it for so if you came from Google give me a heads up and comment away :) I’m not sure how it all works in the blogging world yet but it feels like I’m embarking on a blogging journey in all possible directions - website, Youtube, Telegram, TikTok… To be honest, that is more than enough for me and servicing Instagram becomes a bit of a challenge for me. Again, each time I post something i try to figure an interesting subject which would fit into the overall landscape. I was pretty hectic about this before as my art was always my side hustle… or something that i really need doing but showing everyone was never the front goal. I always perceived myself as someone behind the curtains and not the main character, now I’m experiencing a big change. I’m not only realising I can do something that only several people on Earth can do but also to do that i need to take good care of myself. This didn’t happen in a day…
As usual, change started with a fire straight away and not just a knock on the door. I lost my job because of some company politics, I wasted my health there so I had to take my time to recover and go back to therapy, I had to learn to take care of myself all over again and learn my calm patterns and eliminate neurotic ones, I woke up every day thinking that i need to run somewhere all the time whether i really don’t. I stopped completely and I could only do this after good year of this constantly changing landscape of people, places, projects, initiatives. Last year i practically changed my life to the one I feel more or less balanced. What it was before? - Honestly, some weird race that i was just running and not even thinking whether i need to win anything, i was always trying to help people in whatever form… showing them my paintings was one thing that always got the idea through, so i guess this year i need to become somewhat visible in my art…business is business but conceptual perceptions in abstract discoveries are only possible in this fairly abstract dimension.
After this roller coaster of unconscious change I think I’m ready to make conscious adjustments in all areas of my being. I realised that I’m only qualified to help others when I don’t need help myself. This, however, isn’t the case at the moment, I do need to gain some capital which I never got due to the kind nature of my soul…Pretty sure that you’re one of the kind ones on this planet and my advice to you is - if you feel the real urge to help and you see exactly what you need to do - that is the time. If not and the picture is still blurry - that is not the time. We can only give someone else water when our own cup is full. There is nothing egoistic about it, it’s called self-care. Without self-care the change will become a burden and not a nice joyful journey and believe me you want to make it a good one.
We all have one life, one body and one soul - all very unique and worthy in this universe. Each one of us contributes to a bigger landscape so better take care of yourself and be decisive in what exactly you want to bring into this world. For me, hiding behind the curtains is all well but people started to disrupt the meanings of the input concepts whether I’m here for them to be taken in the right way. I don’t need people to look at my paintings as just paintings. I could write a book about each subject that I’m entering in there but I chose not to because the majority of those universal concepts are already inside your dna, just unactivated due to unawareness whether if I show you a beacon that would resonate that particular frequency you’ll remember things like instant happiness, care, love, expansiveness, mist, expanancial growth! Who else can do that with one painting, ha? Why do you need to spend 3-5 years of your life studying philosophy if you can just come here and activate the right frequency channels of your being and get instant understanding? Feeling it straight away is much better than sitting and wondering and reading all about it, right?
Anyways, you got an idea. Last thing I’d like to add is that thanks to this change I now have a sense of belonging of myself to myself.. I guess last thing that did it was getting a driving licence and being alone on the road >-< but i actually like it very much. I ended up in a space of beautiful uncertainty and whenever anything happens i take it as a nice surprise. I live like Master Ugwei was saying - yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery and today is a gift. Each day is a present and I’m just unwrapping one by one: when i need to do something i just do it. I don’t waste my present worrying about something i will be doing in two days time. I remind myself of that and pin if I need to prepare anything. I don’t even plan that well anymore, i used to be in the calendar, now the whole thing transforms during the day how I need it to be… If i feel too tired for anything I just treat myself with something I like doing, I don’t worry if I’m allowed to do this or that anymore. I am who I am and that is enough and it’s kinda cool to be writing this blog even and wondering later who’ve read this nonsense that I just wrote. I like that i’ve got telegram channel where I can at least see who I’m speaking to and contribute into someone else’s present as I don’t have resource to live for those things anymore but I guess I do have resource to simply share :)
- feel free to join in my telegram channel, you’re always welcome - @theearthwarriorwhofoundpeace :)
Enjoy your change too! ;)
Love,
Polly